Okay, so apparently I can't listen to, watch or read anything sports related right now that is not trying to anoint the Patriots the greatest team ever, Tom Brady the greatest quarterback ever and Bill Belichick the greatest coach ever. Boy, is ESPN ever on board with this directive.
I just love it when Mike Greenberg brings this topic up. You can be sure he'll do it at least once per hour. And Mike & the Mad Dog (radio "personalities" in New York for the uninitiated) were blathering about this scintillating topic today on their show.
Inspired by these sports commentating giants, I've decided to beat the drum myself. Here are the teams that I see as the (snicker) challengers:
Packers - Bart Starr and Vince Lombardi - come back to me when you learn to win. Why would ANYONE think that five championships in seven years is impressive? That total only includes two Super Bowls! They OBVIOUSLY pale in comparison. The sage Bill Curry is about the only ESPN person who mentions these clowns.
Steelers - Chuck Noll and Terry Bradshaw? Don't let the door smack ya in the butt on the way out. Who do you think you're kidding? Four Super Bowl championships in six years? Kid stuff. And don't even get me started on the poor poor quality of teams you faced to win those championships. I am unable to hold back my laughter at this paltry "achievement."
An aside: Greenberg spent a lot of time this season trying to get other sports commentators to rate all time quarterbacks and figure out Brady's place among them. Who did he always mention? Montana, Elway and Marino. Every once in a while, he'd mention Favre. Bradshaw (and his pathetic total of four Super Bowl wins and two SB MVP awards) was never mentioned unless someone else brought him up. This discussion is, of course, moot - as we have already established that Brady is the greatest EVER. Ever. Nobody is even close.
49ers - Bill Walsh and Joe Montana? "The Catch?" Four Super Bowls in nine years? Pretty sad. You guys couldn't even outdo the Steelers! It's an embarrasment that anyone could suggest that the Niners even hold a candle to the Patriots. And I never once saw Walsh don a hoodie!
Dolphins - Ha ha ha. What? 17-0? What a joke. They're 2-3 in Super Bowls, for cryin' out loud! Does anyone out there REALLY think that Don Shula is a better coach than Belichick? That Bob Griese could carry Tom Brady's clipboard? I think not. That 17-0 is yesterday's news. It won't be long before ESPN stops even mentioning it.
So it's official - the Patriots are the greatest team ever! Well done! And Brady and Belichick - you're right in wondering (to paraphrase Duane Thomas) why on Earth they would bother to have an NFL season next year now that you two have perfected the quarterback position and the coaching position.
I suppose the NFL will embarrass itself by shuffling out the same old retread teams next year, going through the motions, only to eventually see each and every team outcoached, outquarterbacked, outclassed, outplayed and beaten by the Patriots.
THE GREATEST TEAM OF ALL TIME WITH THE GREATEST COACH OF ALL TIME AND THE GREATEST QUARTERBACK OF ALL TIME AND THE GREATEST O-LINE OF ALL TIME AND THE GREATEST DEFENSE OF ALL TIME AND THE GREATEST SPECIAL TEAMS OF ALL TIME AND THE GREATEST UPRIGHTS OF ALL TIME AND THE GREATEST OWNER OF ALL TIME AND THE GREATEST CONCESSION STAND OF ALL TIME AND THE GREATEST PARKING LOT OF ALL TIME AND THE GREATEST HIGHWAY SYSTEM OF ALL TIME AND THE GREATEST...
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