The Sports Movie Casting Call: Misguided? Or Am I Missing Something?

There have been more than a few sports movies, and, like any movie genre, there are the Good, the Bad...and the Unconvincing. I am okay with the bad movies - especially the ones that take themselves over-the-top seriously. That, to me, just makes them all the more enjoyable.

This treatise is not to be interpreted as me saying these are bad movies - in some cases, I feel quite the opposite. How could you not like Major League, Teen Wolf, The Karate Kid or Back to School, just to name a couple of the selections. This article should probably also not be considered a treatise...

No, this is more of a... "willing suspension of disbelief" stretched to the limit... sort of list.

What brings this on? The forthcoming movie Leatherheads (April 4th!):

I am not sure which I find harder to believe: that George Clooney (Dodge Connolly - love these movie names!) would be selected to play a football hero...or that John Krasinski (Carter Rutherford) would be cast as not only a football hero, but also a World War I hero. Whatever the case, I feel that this selection can be made sight unseen.

For Krasinski, I'd have been okay with a college basketball casting (please refer to The Office, Season 1, Episode 5: Basketball - love this show!) ...but football? Or to put it another way: "Hey, what has two thumbs and feels less than convinced by this casting? This Guy!"

Before I ramble further, one other Leatherheads movie name demands mention: Renée Zellweger - Lexie Littleton. Classic!

For the rest of these names and movies, I will (mostly) refrain from commenting and let the pictures and your memories do the rest. Because as Vin Scully once said (paraphrasing): "They say a picture is worth a thousand words...if that is so, you've just seen a million words..." (And don't get me wrong - Scully is one of the broadcasters I actually like).

Oh - and I am aware that almost all of these movies have the 80s, a crush on a hot/cute girl as motivation and triumph over a bully as a recurring theme. I'm not sure if this says more about me or the 80s...but I've noted the girl where I could really remember her presence being memorable.
The rest of the list:

Keanu Reeves - The Replacements

Girl: Didn't know her name (Brooke Langton), but she was cute. Hard to get the image of Bill & Ted, I Love You To Death or Parenthood out of my mind for this one. You have the chance to be a scab. What do you do? What do you do?

Corey Haim - Lucas

Girl: Winona Ryder. This selection would have been Sean Astin and 'Rudy' - but I feared the ND/NBC backlash. This is a much safer choice and it has a similar theme. No need to attack - I know this thought is a stretch...but that's the way I always viewed these two films. And before you ask - No, I have not seen Rudy. I dislike Notre Dame that much. Sorry, NBC...and God. Hi, Big Guy! :-). Hey, I liked Astin in 50 First Dates!

Tom Cruise - Days of Thunder

I'll have to be brutally honest here and say that I don't think that there is a Tom Cruise movie that I did like. So, yeah, maybe I am just including him here to include him.

Corbin Bernsen - Major League

Despite plenty of doubt on my part, I felt that all of the actors were somewhat convincing in their roles. But I think that Bernsen struggled the most to make this work. Interesting Bernsen facts courtesy of IMDB: "Trained in Jeet Kune Do from the late Bruce Lee" and "Has one of the largest collections in the world of snow globes, over 6000."

Robin Williams - Best Of Times

Honestly don't remember too much about this one. It has redemption, sure...but I couldn't get past Mork in this role. Kurt Russell was an okay choice.

Scott Bakula - Necessary Roughness

Girl: Kathy Ireland. She didn't get enough screen time in this film. I honestly can't think of another reason that I would have watched this movie. I know that sounds shallow, but I am surprised at myself for having seen this.

Rob Lowe - Youngblood

Girl: Cynthia Gibb. Rob Lowe as a hotshot hockey player...Hmmm. Maybe given his Canadian heritage, this role would have been better suited for:

Michael J. Fox - Teen Wolf

Girl: The character was named 'Boof' - worth a mention. I like MJF - I really do. He's been in some good movies and Family Ties was pretty good. But he's 1.64m tall - 5' 4 1/2" for those of you, like me, that are metrically challenged. I understand he was a popular actor...but surely Rick Schroeder (1.78m - 5' 10") would have been a more sensible choice?

Ralph Macchio - The Karate Kid

Girl: Elisabeth Shue. Another movie with two casting choices: Mr. Miyagi doesn't exactly scream Self-Defense, does he? And one has to wonder what is Macchio's problem, anyway? Why, after getting his butt kicked, does he continue to antagonize William Zabka? This movie would have been justified in ending with Zabka kicking Macchio's tail.

Keith Gordon - Jason Melon (Back to School)

Girl: Didn't remember her name off the top of my head. But she was attractive, and thus warrants mention. Perhaps Rodney Dangerfield should be the real selection here? And that William Zabka makes a splash (haha) here - he plays the same jerk character that he did in Karate Kid and the underrated (and largely unseen) Just One of the Guys.

I realize that some of these selections (Corey Haim) are fringe choices at best, but I feel okay about including them for two reasons:

1) It's my list

2) Someone felt good about casting him in a role that had something to do with sports

I also (except for Leatherheads) stuck to movies I have actually seen for this list. This prevented me from adding more than a few movies: The Babe, Cobb, Summer Catch, Johnny Be Good, Varsity Blues, the remake of The Longest Yard, Mr. Baseball and Mr. 3000 come to mind immediately. But, I left them alone, as I erred on the side of having some semblance of knowing what I was talking about.

Still and all, most of the movies on this list were halfway decent to downright entertaining despite some dubious casting. And I'm sure I missed more than a few. Nice to know that there are some decent sports-oriented movies out there.

An Open Letter To Bud Selig...Or Whoever Is Really In Charge Of MLB

Seeing that there was no shortage of groans and grumbles related to MLB's marketing effort that sent the Red Sox and A's off to Japan to play two regular season games with two weeks left in spring training, I decided to figure out a solution.

And here it is:

The next time MLB schedules a game in another country...make it the All-Star game. This, in my humble opionion, is the best of many worlds. Hear me out.

Here are the pros:

• In theory, we are then sending the two very best teams off to another country to do battle (assuming we believe fans know what they are talking about)
• The host country would not be subject to a meaningless game. The game counts, right?
• I think Japanese fans would have loved to have seen a home run derby and the other assorted events
• The MLB season already has days off planned around the All-Star game, so the inconvenience would be minimized
• It's a revenue sharing win-win. All teams could benefit if greed wouldn't kibosh the whole thing (yeah, I know). Since at least one representative from each team must be involved in the game, all teams would get exposure.
• Boston and Oakland (or whatever teams would be victimized by this capricious event) would not have been squeezed into losing almost two weeks of spring training

The only con I can think of is that owners would bitch about lost revenue based on events around the All-Star game events. But I think that MLB would make a mint from sending the game overseas, so the money could be made up in some way.

I don't think my suggestion is any worse than what Selig & Co. came up with. Anyone have any thoughts as to cons I am not thinking of? Michael Vick, perhaps? :-)

I think this is a great idea. Much better than having the home team for the World Series hinge on an exhibition game that doesn't affect the standings. Mr. Selig, if you like the idea, contact me and we can discuss a consulting fee. I think 10 percent of $15.05 million would be sufficient.

Pacman Fever

So...Adam "Pacman" Jones has proclaimed himself ready to play football again now that he's on the straight and narrow. Sounds good. He also indicated he'd like to play for Dallas.

I think that the Mean Machine is a better choice. I think the guards are ready for a rematch. Or maybe the Raiders. He'd fit in well there. At least he'd have friends in the stands.

I wonder if Marvin Lewis would be interested? Maybe Pacman could serve the Bengals in a kind of consultant-like fashion. Show the guys there how an NFL player is supposed to act.

I'm sure that Roger Goodell can't wait to have a chat with this upstanding young man. He could be the new face of the NFL. A friendly face to project to the fans. Someone for the kids to emulate. He's just what an image-conscious league like the NFL needs.

Mr. Specter - Pennsylvania Watchdog

Spygate, Spygate, Spygate. Now Commish Roger Goodell is upping the talk about cheating. Talking about "enacting easier-to-impose cheating penalties as a deterrent for future SpyGate scandals, The Washington Post reported Thursday." Credit to ESPN for the quoted text.

What future Spygate scandals is he expecting? As far as we know, the Patriots naughty but charismatic head man Bill Belichick is the only bad boy engaging in such practices. At least, he's the only one who's been disciplined. And I've heard whispers from current and former NFL people that this had been going on for years, and it doesn't really make a difference.

So it looks like rules are being bandied about to deal with the embarrsment caused by one guy. A guy who generated an incalculable amount of positive attention and money for the NFL by creating a juggernaut that couldn't lose (except that it did).

How many Pats games were bumped into a prime spot this past season? Every game was a ratings bonanza. Boffo bucks and a huge audience. The NFL couldn't get enough. And Spygate was pushed to the back burner.

Then, after a conversation with Arlen Specter, Spygate is back. Because there may have been some funny business going on when the Pats defeated the Eagles in that Super Bowl. It couldn't have been that the Pats were the better team that day, could it? They had won a Super Bowl or two by then, hadn't they?

Not that the NFL or Goodell feel that there is a problem. Just that there was some less than sportsman-like behavior going on. And Goodell has that reputation as the disciplinarian who is going to clean up the NFL. Time to act!

I expect that we'll be seeing a warmer, fuzzier Belichick this year. Maybe he'll even shake hands with the opposing coach. A man full of contrition and one ready to make amends. You buying any of this?

According to ESPN, Goodell wrote "too often, competitive violations have gone unpunished because conclusive proof of the violation was lacking." And he had the tapes destroyed, didn't he? I guess we know why this evidence is lacking!

Now the Rams, Panthers, Jets, Steelers and Eagles can rest easy. Except for the fact that these rules don't really mean a thing. The damage is done and there will be new ways to "outflank" your opponent down the road. That's been part of the game since the beginning, and a smart guy like Belichick will be just as canny as his coaching brethren in figuring out how to outflank the other guy. That's how you win. The Patriots have three trophies to prove it.

Coughlin's Contract - Maybe Not So Odd

Just my opinion here, but I am intrigued by the reaction to Tom Coughlin getting a wonderful, $21 million contract from the Giants. Why are people so shocked? The guy coached his team to a Super Bowl victory over the unbeaten, double-digit favorite, sure-thing-to-win Patriots, didn't he?

What were people expecting? The Giants aren't Cincinnati, who retained the services of Sam Wyche and David Shula long beyond a timeframe most teams would have. They're not the Redskins or the Raiders, teams that can't say that their coaches will be retained beyond one season. They're not the Chargers, a team that fired their coach after a 14-2 season because the GM and the coach didn't talk to each other.

They're the Giants. Look at the coaches they've had. Bill Parcells. Dan Reeves. Jim Fassel. Tom Coughlin. All of these guys have success in common. They were classy guys who usually had the respect of their players. And, for the most part, they had the endorsement of the Mara family.

Of course, they made coaching changes when things weren't working out. But they never really acted rashly. Remember what happened with Fassel? He knew before the season ended that he would not be retained beyond the season. What did he do? He coached the entire season, honoring his contract. Even though Reeves is a class guy, even he didn't do that for the Falcons.

The sports radio shows today were abuzz with Coughlin-mania. Pointing out that he was on the verge of being fired when the season began. ESPN said so as well. Both pointed out that the fans were calling for Coughlin's head after their first two losses.

I sincerely doubt that the Mara family paid any attention to this. You don't win Super Bowls and field a professional football team by bending to the whims of the fans. Sure they pay salaries and make it possible to operate. But in the end, the team is a business, and the folks running the show will do what they feel is best for the business.

In this case, that means retaining the head man and paying him elite coach money.

A similar case to this was the Steelers. Remember in 1998, 1999 and 2000, when the Steelers had three consecutive losing seasons? And Bill Cowher was allegedly going to be fired at any moment? Then, suddenly, the guy learned to coach again and the team went 15-1.

Well, people said, Cowher sure paid back the Rooneys for sticking with him. I don't think that's the whole truth. The Rooneys got a great deal from Cowher. He was one of the league's best coaches for 15 seasons. I would be shocked to learn that the Rooney's even considered firing him.

The Steelers have had three coaches in 38 years. And they've won five Super Bowls. I think the Giants know what the Steelers know. If you've got a good thing going...do what you have to do to keep it going. This is a lesson that a lot of teams could learn. And some have. Look at the Eagles. Andy Reid has been there for nine years and produced five first place finishes, an 88-56 regular season record and taken this hard luck team to the Super Bowl.

To all the teams that keep entering the coaching carousel, I say consider this refrain: Continuity is a good thing.

Brett Favre - Shoulda Been A Steeler

There is no joy in Titletown, mighty Brett has bowed out.

In what is old news now, Brett Favre, quarterback extraordinaire for the Green Bay Packers has called it a day. After many years of exciting, fun football, his legacy will be a tough one for the NFL to replace.

People can talk all they want about Michael Vick and how he had revolutionized the game, but the one thing you can't say is that there were any postseason glories there. Favre had his unconventional style and made it work. To the tune of a Super Bowl ring at the expense of the overblown Patriots and Miami's Tuna. Vick isn't even fit to attend a dog show.

Many quarterbacks have come and gone in the past 16 years, and Favre has been there to greet them and to bid them farewell. Steve Young, Troy Aikman, Payton Manning, Tom Brady and John Elway are just a few of the QBs that come to mind when I think of Favre's exploits on the gridiron.

I can be pretty judgmental when it comes to sports and the athletes that play them. I hate phoniness and cheaters. Favre was neither of these things. Favre was raw and emotion-based. It was exciting to watch him play.

These other quarterbacks, Vick included, were exciting in their own way. But this is what I remember most about Favre. I liked him. He was about the only quarterback (or player, really) that was not a Steeler that I really liked. He played the game like a kid plays it. Honest, gritty and fighting for that last shot each and every game.

The best that I can say about him is that I wish he'd been a Steeler. But he was a Packer, and those fans are lucky to have been able to witness such fine football artistry for those 16 years. Those fans should send the Atlanta Falcons a thank-you note. Mike Holmgren should too.

I paraphrase something that was said about Baltimore Oriole manager Earl Weaver: "All Holmgren had to do to win on Sunday was to be able to spell Favre." Fortunately for us fans...Holmgren was a good speller.

Wrigley Field And A Little Baseball History

Gasp! Cubs fans everywhere cringe at the very thought of renaming the venerable Wrigley Field. And even though I've never been...I cringe as well.

As a baseball purist, I treasure the old, hallowed baseball records and the lore that goes back decades. Wrigley is a historical landmark and should be treated as such.

That said, Sam Zell probably can get a boatload of dough to grant the naming rights to this wonderful arena. It is his right to allow the Wrigley name to pass into history, just as the numbers 61 and 756 so unceremoneously (and chemically) did.

The playground of Hack Wilson (he of the 191 RBI in one season!), Babe Ruth's called shot (unless that was in New York :-) ), a goat curse, Ernie Banks, Ryne Sandberg and years upon years of postseason disappointment will always be remembered in the hearts and minds of baseball fans everywhere.

The lovable losers will not be going anywhere...they're still in the same place. Just because the name may change, doesn't mean the memories change. I'll be a bit sad when the new name is announced, but then I'll get over it.

That's more than I can say for the dubious brush off that 61 and 756 received. At least 511, 56 and 191 look like they'll remain unchanged.

The Browns - The Mistake By The Lake...?

What's going on here? It's one thing to correctly resign Romeo Crennel. It's okay with me to let Brady Quinn cool his heels in a backup role. But signing Donte Stallworth!?!? Could someone in Cleveland actually have a clue?

I got used to Cleveland being a tough, but winnable, game for the Steelers. They always played the Steelers well, whether they were good or bad...Remember their return season? Pittsburgh whipped them 43-0 in the first game, then lost 17-13 in the second. I respect Cleveland as a Steelers opponent - that was all well and good. But after a close game in the second matchup last year, and a near playoff appearance for the Browns, something is up.

Derek Anderson already had Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow Jr. Now the Steelers have to figure out how to defend against three pretty good receivers? I think I liked it better when the Browns were "The Mistake By The Lake."

I wonder why the Eagles didn't sign Stallworth? That would have been okay. They could sure use him now that the Randy Moss thing fell through...

Anyway, I long for the days when Belichick was the Browns coach and he was losing three games a year to the Steelers. Who'd have thought that a disciple of his would be doing a better job with the same team?

Tell Your Friend Veronica, Here Comes Faneca

Well, that is at least the refrain that folks from New Jersey and Alan Faneca can sing. Fellow Steeler fans, feel free to join me in lament. So let me see if I have this right. We're a running team. We've seen cracks in our offensive line. We let one of the NFL's best offensive guards walk.

Okay - guess there's not much more to be said. At least the Steelers signed Ben Roethlisberger to a pricey, long-term contract. This makes sense - if you're going to have a good team, it all starts with the quarterback. No more Brister, O'Donnell, Stewart, Maddox. None of them have a Super Bowl ring.

I was kind of hoping that Faneca or the Stillers would have a change of heart and they'd find some way to make it so that Faneca stayed in Pittsburgh. Not to be. I do have faith that the Steelers know what they're doing.

After all, they released Greg Lloyd, Levon Kirkland and Joey Porter just as they were going into their twilight years. Very few players leave Pittsburgh and flourish. Just look at Yancey Thigpen.

Of course, the flip side of that is Plaxico Burress. I wonder if Faneca will go the way of Burress...or Porter?

Plan Stein From Brenner Space

Hank Steinbrenner is a riot, but I am not sure on which planet he resides. Let's take a look at his comments about Red Sox Nation:

"Red Sox Nation?" What a bunch of [expletive] that is," he said in an interview with The New York Times' Play magazine. "That was a creation of the Red Sox and ESPN, which is filled with Red Sox fans. Go anywhere in America and you won't see Red Sox hats and jackets, you'll see Yankee hats and jackets. This is a Yankee country. We're going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order."

Well, I live in southern New Jersey and I see Red Sox hats and jackets all over the place. Certainly more than Yankees hats and jackets. In addition to this, I work in central Jersey, and this is an obvious area that should reek of Yankee pride. It does...but there is no shortage of Red Sox garb and fans. The numbers are at least the same as for the Yankees or Mets.

As for his assertion that Red Sox Nation (RSN) is a creation of ESPN, he might have a point. But there is some traction to this RSN stuff. The team has won two World Series crowns in the past four years, posting a combined 8-0 game count along the way. The first of those WS wins was on the heels of a 4-game comeback League Championship win over the Yankees.

Sounds like Hank is a bit jealous of the Red Sox. And now that he's lauded the release of Joe Torre, the manager that led the Yanks to 12 consecutive post season appearances, I think the Yankees future is a bit cloudy. Clearly, Hank does not agree.

Maybe he can go run the Toledo Mud Hens and reunite with A-Rod...