Madden out of retirement!
That's right folks. Now that Brett Favre (TM) has indicated that he may be returning to the NFL, John Madden has indicated he will return to broadcasting. However, he has stated that he will only be available to broadcast Minnesota Vikings games...or "whatever freaking team Favre winds up on this time," the great broadcaster was quoted as saying. "There's no better quarterback than Brett Favre (TM)."
Madden 2010 - Discontinued If No Favre
Spokespeople for John Madden have indicated that Mr. Madden is prepared to sit out the 2010 gaming season if Brett Favre (TM) remains retired. "We just can't see the point of even having the game available if the greatest living football ambassador will not even be available to shill the game," the gaming genius said in a statement. No word from the Favre camp on rumors that Brett Favre (TM) was insisting that the game - and certain key elements of the game - would have to be modified if Favre were to be expected to continue to lend his likeness to the game. No details were available at press time.
All-Madden Team Now Will Be All-Favre Team
Brett Favre (TM) is taking over! CBS has announced that even if Madden comes out of retirement, the All-Madden team will cease to be. But fear not, sports fans! It will be replaced with the newer, hipper All-Favre (TM) team! CBS spokesman Al Michaels told us that "it was time for a change. I mean really - the All-Madden team? Everyone knows if it weren't for Brett Favre (TM), there would be no All-Madden team."
Steve Madden to market new footwear, called the Favre
A Google search reveals this about Steve Madden's product lines: "With enough attitude for even the sassiest fashion diva and the most discriminating and stylish men..." and he means it. What you won't find in your search, however is that Madden (Steve) and Brett Favre (TM) are in talks to release a new shoe called "The Favre."
It will be available in stylish green and white (no, it's not Yellow! bellows the high quality catalog (printed on recyclable paper, of course)), with shoelaces that have every NFL teams colors on them (just in case). The shoes will cost $44 each and will come with a cool sticker that has a Calvin & Hobbes-like drawing of #4 peeing on a Green Bay Packer helmet.
But you must act quickly, as the shoe will be retired at the end of this NFL season. Or...will it? ;-) Mr. Madden (Steve) was not available for comment.
Wrangler vs. Lee
Brett Favre (TM) has released a statement saying he will be retiring from the business of advertising jeans. It was reported last fall that Favre felt that "that ship had sailed." Relations between Favre and Wrangler were strained when it was reported in "Retire?" magazine that a highly placed Wrangler executive was photographed wearing a #4 Packer replica jersey at a golf outing. Favre was reportedly so upset that he couldn't even focus on retiring during his tenure with the Jets and accidently played the whole 16-game schedule.
What you didn't hear in "Retire?" magazine was that the Favre camp have been in talks with the Lee Jeans Company since August 2008, trying to convince the devil-may-care Favre to jump ship and schill Lee Jeans. Word outta Kiln is that the two sides are very close to announcing a deal! Watch this space...
There's Something about Mary - Favre Wants Famous Scene To Be Removed
Astonishing, isn't it? The hilarious scene that proved once and for all that nobody really knew how to pronounce the name Brett Favre (TM) is to be excised from the film "There's Something About Mary" and will be used in the next Judd Apatow film. Mr. Apatow had no comment. Favre did, but it was nothing you haven't heard before. He just used a comment he'd made after a 2003 Packers/Bears game, and simply changed a few nouns and verbs to describe this bombshell.
When we hear more, you can be sure you'll hear it here first!
Brett Favre (TM) Reportedly Wants "revenge" on Green Bay
Yes, Yahoo reported that Brett Favre (TM) is seeking re-entry to the NFL to gain revenge on the team that made his career possible in the first place. His plan is simple - he will tire out the Green Bay secondary by throwing six "pick six" interceptions in first half of each Viking/Packer game, thereby enabling All-Pro running back Adrian Petersen more room to run. Head Coach Brad Childress bristled when a reporter asked him if even Petersen could overcome a 42-0 first half defecit by himself.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
College Football
If all of you are getting sleepy from all this baseball talk, then I can understand because sometimes it just makes you feel a little constipated. While the game is considered America's pasttime, it certainly has lost its luster and for me and others who do agree with me, 1869 and present and will always going strong is the greatness that is college football.
The 2009 season is still a ways out but it doesn't hurt to get a little interested right now. There are always developments in the offseason that lead up to an always exciting season. Things to look out for will be...
The 2009 season is still a ways out but it doesn't hurt to get a little interested right now. There are always developments in the offseason that lead up to an always exciting season. Things to look out for will be...
- The start of the Lane Kiffin era in Knoxville
- SEC drama between Kiffin, Meyer, Richt, Miles
- Florida possibly becoming the 3rd school to win 3 national titles in 4 years
- Encore seasons for Colt McCoy, 2008 Heisman winner Sam Bradford and 2007 Heisman winner Tim Tebow
- Who will come out of the Big XII (Texas or Oklahoma)?
- Will USC win an 8th consecutive conference title and make another BCS game?
- Will Utah or any other mid-major finally get respect and be considered for the NC?
- And of course, you never know what Joe Paterno has up his sleeve
There are other things to look out for when the season begins and plays through. We shall see when it all begins. Right now I will pick my conference champions and BCS predictions.
Pac 10- USC
Big XII- Oklahoma
Big Ten- Penn State
Big East- Pittsburgh
ACC- Miami
SEC- Florida
Orange- Pittsburgh vs Miami
Sugar- Utah vs Georgia
Fiesta- Oklahoma vs Ohio State
Rose- Penn State vs Texas
BCS NCG- Florida vs USC
Just for the hell of it..... Colt McCoy wins the Heisman. The 2010 NFL Draft will feature 3 Heisman winning quarterbacks!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Just two guys talkin' Phillies baseball
From: Sj-hypocycloid
Subject: RE: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-friend
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 11:19 PM
awesome! it's over - a 6-1 final! nice. And a mighty 12 pitch outing for Durbin. And the Mets beat Atlanta 6-4. Not sure if we should be happy about that or not. too bad they can't both lose! Well, the result puts the Mets (11-13) in 3rd place and the Braves (11-14) in 4th, so all is well. Worst case scenario for the Phillies is the Marlins win, and the Phils are 1/2 game out. the Marlins are in extra innings (the 13th - go cincinnati)
No homers, and only five men left on base (and 10 for the Cards! nice to see a team other than the Phils doing that). All in all, not a bad night at all for the Phillies. Howard and Werth leading the way on offense - 4 for 7 combined with 6 ribbies. Gotta like it. And gotta hope that this pitching performance will start a trend!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-friend
Subject: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-hypocycloid
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 10:49 PM
dude, you moan too much about the pitching. it's not the freakin' 1970s anymore. deal with it! LOL. If these guys even tried to throw 300+ innings, their arms would fall off! Just enjoy the game. oh yeah, you can't! ;-) well, enjoy listening.
And they're into the 9th....and frakin' Durbin is in now? wtf? come on! what happened to madson? maybe you're right... LOL
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-hypocycloid
Subject: RE: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-friend
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 10:40 PM
Hell yeah! Headin' to the 9th! up 6-1 and eyre and madson with scoreless innings! I don't know why they took eyre out. he threw a scoreless inning, for christs' sake! 11 pitches! WTF? He's a major league pitcher and he can't throw more than 11 pitches??? I mean, yeah - madson threw seven to get his inning over and done with, but still....why not save madson for another day? Too many pitching changes!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-friend
Subject: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-hypocycloid
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 10:27 PM
Dude, you're such a tool. Pujols is great....even if he is on roids. I noticed that your mvp struck out again. He must be leading the league again in that...does he have 200 yet? LOL
And Blanton! wow - I can't believe he didn't give up a homer! hardly any phils pitchers can say that. I think only moyer has a start that he didn't yield a freakin' longball! Looks like the Phils might be closing this one out soon.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-hypocycloid
Subject: RE: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-friend
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 10:21 PM
Dude, are you watching this? I'm so annoyed at comcast! They suck. All I can do is listen or keep checking espn.com. Holy crap! 6-1 and Pujols has been pretty quiet. 0-3 with a walk. That's exactly what you gotta do.
And look at freakin' blanton! 6 innings, 4 hits, 2 walks and only one earned run??? What's up with that? Who cares? The Phils 'pen can certainly use moreo f that! Nice. Werth and Howard went deep. Howard's 4th of the season and a .293 batting average. If not for 'roid man pujols, he'd be an mvp candidate! LOL way way too early for that kind of talk!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-friend
Subject: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-hypocycloid
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 1:13 PM
Yeah, that dude's gott abe on roids! No way he could put up numbers like that without help. Or maybe he's just that good. Just like A-Rod - ha! what a freaking cheater that dude is. A-Fraud is more like it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-hypocycloid
Subject: RE: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-friend
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 11:49 AM
Yeah, the Cards are tough. But some people thought the Marlins were tough before the Phils swept 'em. And look at all the preseason prognosticators who picked the Mets, going on about their pitching, and forgetting that they were talking about Maine and Pelfrey! Who cares how good your bullpen is if you can't get to it!
Look at the Phillies - they're gonna wear that bullpen out by the All-Star break. They need to get someone to come in and eat up some innings. Not gonna be easy against the Cards, though. Pujols is having another monster year: .344, 9 homers, 29 ribbies, .460 OBP and .700 SLG. Can you say 'roids' ? LOL
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-friend
Subject: RE: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-hypocycloid
Date: Monday, April 17, 2009, 11:56 AM
Yeah - 1-1. Way to go Phils! Who do they play tonight? The Cards? Man, that's tough. They're pretty good.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-hypocycloid
Subject: RE: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-friend
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 10:16 AM
Nice to see them winning some games now. And a winning April - that doesn't happen every year. Glad they managed to get that win over the Mets. A walk with the bases loaded. That's a demoralizing way to lose. Ha! Take that, Mets! After last freaking year, splitting with the Mets would be a bonus. They're on their way at 1-1 LOL....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-friend
Subject: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-hypocycloid
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 9:41 AM
I agree with you totally that the Phillies pitching has been pretty wretched this year. Chan ho's pitching friday was pathetic! I'd take don ho over that dude at this point.
Subject: RE: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-friend
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 11:19 PM
awesome! it's over - a 6-1 final! nice. And a mighty 12 pitch outing for Durbin. And the Mets beat Atlanta 6-4. Not sure if we should be happy about that or not. too bad they can't both lose! Well, the result puts the Mets (11-13) in 3rd place and the Braves (11-14) in 4th, so all is well. Worst case scenario for the Phillies is the Marlins win, and the Phils are 1/2 game out. the Marlins are in extra innings (the 13th - go cincinnati)
No homers, and only five men left on base (and 10 for the Cards! nice to see a team other than the Phils doing that). All in all, not a bad night at all for the Phillies. Howard and Werth leading the way on offense - 4 for 7 combined with 6 ribbies. Gotta like it. And gotta hope that this pitching performance will start a trend!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-friend
Subject: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-hypocycloid
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 10:49 PM
dude, you moan too much about the pitching. it's not the freakin' 1970s anymore. deal with it! LOL. If these guys even tried to throw 300+ innings, their arms would fall off! Just enjoy the game. oh yeah, you can't! ;-) well, enjoy listening.
And they're into the 9th....and frakin' Durbin is in now? wtf? come on! what happened to madson? maybe you're right... LOL
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-hypocycloid
Subject: RE: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-friend
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 10:40 PM
Hell yeah! Headin' to the 9th! up 6-1 and eyre and madson with scoreless innings! I don't know why they took eyre out. he threw a scoreless inning, for christs' sake! 11 pitches! WTF? He's a major league pitcher and he can't throw more than 11 pitches??? I mean, yeah - madson threw seven to get his inning over and done with, but still....why not save madson for another day? Too many pitching changes!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-friend
Subject: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-hypocycloid
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 10:27 PM
Dude, you're such a tool. Pujols is great....even if he is on roids. I noticed that your mvp struck out again. He must be leading the league again in that...does he have 200 yet? LOL
And Blanton! wow - I can't believe he didn't give up a homer! hardly any phils pitchers can say that. I think only moyer has a start that he didn't yield a freakin' longball! Looks like the Phils might be closing this one out soon.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-hypocycloid
Subject: RE: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-friend
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 10:21 PM
Dude, are you watching this? I'm so annoyed at comcast! They suck. All I can do is listen or keep checking espn.com. Holy crap! 6-1 and Pujols has been pretty quiet. 0-3 with a walk. That's exactly what you gotta do.
And look at freakin' blanton! 6 innings, 4 hits, 2 walks and only one earned run??? What's up with that? Who cares? The Phils 'pen can certainly use moreo f that! Nice. Werth and Howard went deep. Howard's 4th of the season and a .293 batting average. If not for 'roid man pujols, he'd be an mvp candidate! LOL way way too early for that kind of talk!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-friend
Subject: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-hypocycloid
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 1:13 PM
Yeah, that dude's gott abe on roids! No way he could put up numbers like that without help. Or maybe he's just that good. Just like A-Rod - ha! what a freaking cheater that dude is. A-Fraud is more like it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-hypocycloid
Subject: RE: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-friend
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 11:49 AM
Yeah, the Cards are tough. But some people thought the Marlins were tough before the Phils swept 'em. And look at all the preseason prognosticators who picked the Mets, going on about their pitching, and forgetting that they were talking about Maine and Pelfrey! Who cares how good your bullpen is if you can't get to it!
Look at the Phillies - they're gonna wear that bullpen out by the All-Star break. They need to get someone to come in and eat up some innings. Not gonna be easy against the Cards, though. Pujols is having another monster year: .344, 9 homers, 29 ribbies, .460 OBP and .700 SLG. Can you say 'roids' ? LOL
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-friend
Subject: RE: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-hypocycloid
Date: Monday, April 17, 2009, 11:56 AM
Yeah - 1-1. Way to go Phils! Who do they play tonight? The Cards? Man, that's tough. They're pretty good.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-hypocycloid
Subject: RE: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-friend
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 10:16 AM
Nice to see them winning some games now. And a winning April - that doesn't happen every year. Glad they managed to get that win over the Mets. A walk with the bases loaded. That's a demoralizing way to lose. Ha! Take that, Mets! After last freaking year, splitting with the Mets would be a bonus. They're on their way at 1-1 LOL....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Sj-friend
Subject: freakin'phillies
To: Sj-hypocycloid
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 9:41 AM
I agree with you totally that the Phillies pitching has been pretty wretched this year. Chan ho's pitching friday was pathetic! I'd take don ho over that dude at this point.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Mad Libs, Phillies vs. Mets Style
The Phillies played a _______________ game against the New York Mets - a _______________ 7-4 loss. In the first inning, Chan Ho Park, who is a very _______________ pitcher, gave up a 2-run homer in the first inning, the 41st homer given up by the _______________ Phillies pitching staff.
Just when it seemed that Park would settle down, he went ahead and gave up 2 more _______________ runs in the second inning, adding insult to injury by allowing the _______________ pitcher, Mike _______________ Pelfry to drive in a run with a sacrifice fly.
Park continued on his wretched pace by giving up yet another _______________ run in the third inning, again on a sacrifice fly. This time, at least, it wasn't a _______________ pitcher that drove in the _______________ run.
Just when _______________ was almost overtaking me, the Phillies roared to life and scored three runs in their half of the third inning. With the _______________ Raul Ibanez furthering his case for being named Phillies _______________.
Incredibly, Park had a _______________ fourth inning, somehow managing to not give up a run. But in the fifth inning, it was back to business, as the _______________ Mets scored another run on a _______________ David Wright single. 6-3 stood the score.
Then later in the fifth, _______________ Pelfrey singled, driving in yet another run. Mets 7, Phillies 3. Park's _______________ night over, after 4 2/3 _______________ innings.
Curiously, the _______________ Mets did not score for the rest of the game, once the Phillies relievers took over. Could the Phillies chip away at this lead and stage one of their 8th or 9th inning comebacks?
Uh, no. Other than a solo Chase Utley home run in the 7th inning, the Phillies went out like lambs. Adding insult to _______________ injury, the Mets bullpen actually saved a _______________ game.
The only saving grace here is that the Marlins had already lost to the Cubs earlier in the day. But giving renewed hope to the _______________ Mets is not the best way to have started this _______________ _______________ weekend!!!
Now, the Phils need to grow a set of _______________ and win the next two. They need to smother that _______________ hope that they've given to the _______________ Mets...and quickly. Or they could be looking back at this _______________ game and thinking about what could have _______________ been.
Just when it seemed that Park would settle down, he went ahead and gave up 2 more _______________ runs in the second inning, adding insult to injury by allowing the _______________ pitcher, Mike _______________ Pelfry to drive in a run with a sacrifice fly.
Park continued on his wretched pace by giving up yet another _______________ run in the third inning, again on a sacrifice fly. This time, at least, it wasn't a _______________ pitcher that drove in the _______________ run.
Just when _______________ was almost overtaking me, the Phillies roared to life and scored three runs in their half of the third inning. With the _______________ Raul Ibanez furthering his case for being named Phillies _______________.
Incredibly, Park had a _______________ fourth inning, somehow managing to not give up a run. But in the fifth inning, it was back to business, as the _______________ Mets scored another run on a _______________ David Wright single. 6-3 stood the score.
Then later in the fifth, _______________ Pelfrey singled, driving in yet another run. Mets 7, Phillies 3. Park's _______________ night over, after 4 2/3 _______________ innings.
Curiously, the _______________ Mets did not score for the rest of the game, once the Phillies relievers took over. Could the Phillies chip away at this lead and stage one of their 8th or 9th inning comebacks?
Uh, no. Other than a solo Chase Utley home run in the 7th inning, the Phillies went out like lambs. Adding insult to _______________ injury, the Mets bullpen actually saved a _______________ game.
The only saving grace here is that the Marlins had already lost to the Cubs earlier in the day. But giving renewed hope to the _______________ Mets is not the best way to have started this _______________ _______________ weekend!!!
Now, the Phils need to grow a set of _______________ and win the next two. They need to smother that _______________ hope that they've given to the _______________ Mets...and quickly. Or they could be looking back at this _______________ game and thinking about what could have _______________ been.
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