Dear Pittsburgh Penguins, I want you to know why I hate you. By Michael Hochman.

Dear Pittsburgh Penguins:

Ok, the more I think about it, the more you piss me off. It didn't take front-office intelligence for you to get where you are. It didn't take shrewd moves or well-thought out drafts. It didn't take risks or hard work. In fact, more than anything, it took consistent losing.

In 2002, you sucked, as you had for a while, so you were rewarded with the 5th overall pick and took Ryan Whitney.

Then you still sucked a year later and had the 3rd overall pick in 2003. Florida didn't want it because they didn't' need a goalie, so they traded you the FIRST overall pick, and wham, Marc-Andre Fleury is a Penguin. The Flyers chose 24th.

Then somehow you CONTINUED to suck in 2004, but oh darn, you didn't win the draft lottery and couldn't draft Alex Ovechkin. But you sucked enough to pick SECOND overall, and had to settle for Evgeny Malkin. I feel sorry for your booby prize. The Flyers didn't draft until 92nd.

Then in 2005, the lockout year, you were rewarded for sucking over SEVERAL years. The NHL held the Sidney Crosby Sweepstakes lottery with you, Buffalo, the Rangers, and Columbus given equal chances of winning. Fuck-n-a if you didn't win that lottery. You got Sidney Crosby by sheer luck, and it certainly didn't take a genius to take him when you got the top pick. Yay for finishing in last. The Flyers drafted 29th that year.

Despite all obsticles, in 2006 you still sucked, and were presented the prize of the SECOND overall pick again and took Jordan Staal. Another No-Brainer. The Flyers drafted 22nd.

And then in 2007 when the Flyers for once have the worst overall record, they don't even win the draft lottery. In a weak draft, they pick 2nd and take James van Riemsdyk. Solid, but no Whitney, Fleury, Malkin, Crosby, and Staal. The difference between the Flyers and the Penguins? The Flyers realized they didnt like losing very much, something the Pens seemed to enjoy, and decided to go back to the Eastern Conference Finals the very next year (where they lost to the we're-so-shitty-we're-stocked-from-multiple-high-drafts Penguins). Despite the opportunity to keep on losin', the Flyers decided winning was kinda important.

An amazing strategy: play like shit for many years, draft no-brainer future stars, continue to play like shit, and draft even more future stars. Wow, you guys are a hell of an organization. That took some brilliance. Fifth, third, second, first, second. It's like a freakin' fantasy draft. This is why I hate you, the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Love, Michael Hochman